


Live and Let Die

by mrs_edlund



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Hunters & Hunting, Plot Twists, Smut, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-11 22:32:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7073128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_edlund/pseuds/mrs_edlund
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was still a weird concept to you. Leaving the hunting lifestyle had been a hard decision, one of the hardest you’d ever had to make, but you had made the most of it and knew it was the right thing to do to find happiness. You had a constant roof over your head, a handsome guy on the opposite side of your bed every night, and Winchester written on the nameplate on your mailbox.</p>
<p>What happened in the past to get you to that point? And what exactly does the future hold for you?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> New series I'm starting to write. Jumps back and forth in time. If it ever become confusing tell me! I'm trying to keep the story line interesting and entertain you all!

You were washing dishes in the kitchen sink of your home, deep in thought as your hands scrubbed away the night’s dinner in the hot, sudsy water. _Your_ home. It was still a weird concept to you. Leaving the hunting lifestyle had been a hard decision, one of the hardest you’d ever had to make, but you had made the most of it and knew it was the right thing to do to find happiness. You had a constant roof over your head, a handsome guy on the opposite side of your bed every night, and Winchester written on the nameplate on your mailbox.

“Thanks for cleaning up, sweetheart,” a gruff voice pulled you from your thoughts as it’s owners muscular arms wrapped around your waist. 

You turned around and faced the source of the voice, standing on your tiptoes and wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. “Well, thank you for grilling,” you beamed up at him, planting a swift kiss on his lips.

“Mmmm,” he hummed, still holding you in his warm embrace, “What were you so deep in thought about? You’ve been cleaning the same plate for the past ten minutes.”

You smiled softly, “The night we met.”

*******************************

You smoothed the dress down over your hips. You had to admit, the black fabric hung perfectly on your figure and had a sweetheart neckline that showed off the goods nicely. The dress rode tight to your hips then dropped straight down to the floor. You felt a little ridiculous, but why shouldn’t a girl get the chance to dress up and pamper herself every now and again? Even if it was to go gank a vamps nest.

“Stupid bloodsuckers,” you muttered to yourself while applying your lipstick and fluffing you hair for one last good measure. Because of your attire, you had to strap your smallest machete to the garter on your thigh so it would go mostly unseen, which you weren’t too happy about.

You sighed and gave yourself one last look over: hair curled and pinned over to the side, a slit up one side of the dress that showed the killer heels that would surely break once the true hunt began, and a makeup-clad face sure to turn some heads.

You had been in New Orleans for 3 weeks now, clocking in countless research and recon hours to figure out who, no, _what _exactly had made seventeen women disappear in a county over the past few months. You finally cracked the case after catching multiple leads. Turns out the vamp was from some dynasty and ancient clan whose name you couldn’t care less about; you just wanted him and his nest gone. He had big money to blow and a knack for throwing outrageously over-the-top parties. You’d managed to line up the parties he had thrown over the past year with multiple disappearances from the nearby towns. It couldn’t be a coincidence. Plus the fact that he had a creepy-ass smile that made your stomach drop when you looked at him; you usually trusted your gut.__

So now here you were, dressed to the nines and on your way to a masquerade ball at one of the most ridiculously ostentatious houses you’d ever seen. You were able to steal an invitation off of some snobby bitch at a country club while you were conducting interviews in your Fed get-up. You weren’t much for these types of people. 

You pulled up to the mansion found at the end of a long driveway just past 7 o’clock. “Creepy already,” you sighed. You pulled up to the valet, putting on your mask before exiting your baby, nervous to leave the keys in the hands of the adolescent working at the stand. You didn’t make a fuss so not to draw attention to yourself. At least the mask help keep your anonymity in tact. 

Ascending the steps, you took a long look around, surveying the area and sizing it up (more than you already had from the blueprints of the land you meticulously studied… God forbid something went south). You entered the main foyer of the house, following the masked crowd into the ballroom of the oversized estate. It was actually gorgeous, as much as you hated to admit it. The party was in full swing with an old time Mardi Gras band. Streamers and lights were strewn everywhere the eye could see, which also meant visibility on the creep was going to be harder than you thought. 

You made you way through the crowd, looking around as you went, casually blending as you searched for the creature on the top of your hit list. A half hour went by before you spotted him, and it was because the music cutout and he came up on stage to make his opening remarks. 

“Good evening, my honored guests,” he crooned in a slight French accent, ‘It is my only wish that you all enjoy yourselves and dance the night away. I hope it is a time you’ll never forget. Thank you all for being here!” He raised his glass as the crowd cheered and the music resumed. Mr. Frenchy made his way off stage and wrapped his arm around the waist of a long-legged female in an emerald mask matching her scantily-covering dress. 

_Victim or vamp?_ you thought to yourself. You started towards the duo. 

A hand grabbed you by the arm. You instinctively grabbed it and twisted it upwards, attempting to inflict as little pain as possible, but still being effective of getting the unwelcomed attention off of you. The owner of the hand counter-attacked, sweeping you into a dip in one fluid motion before bringing you back up to normal level. 

“You know, for someone trying to go unnoticed, you’re sure doing a poor job, sweetheart,” the owner of the hand commented in a gruff voice. You were met with a pair of piercing green eyes behind a black mask. You lost your voice for a moment. “Good to know I can still leave a girl speechless,” he winked. 

“You’d think someone so observational would know not to bother someone trying to go unnoticed,” you retorted. You’d unintentionally started dancing with the man. He started sweeping you around the floor. You began looking for the vamp who had now disappeared. 

“Well, what kind of gentleman would ignore a beautiful lady with a weapon strapped to her thigh.” Your eyes bugged, he laughed, “It looks like were here for the same cause, Miss…” 

“(Y/L/N). (Y/N)(Y/L/N),” you stammered, utterly shocked. 

“(Y/N). I’m Dean, Dean Winchester,” he smiled, still leading you in graceful movements to the beat of the song. You could tell he wasn’t threat. Well, maybe not to your safety, but he was definitely the lady-killer type. 

“Well, Dean, that same cause were here for has gotten away thanks to your current antics,” you tried to escape his embrace, but he held you in place. He was extremely strong and well built, as you could currently feel, not to mention outrageously handsome, even with a mask on. 

He chuckled as he dipped you again, “Don’t worry, sweetheart, my brother’s tailing him. I’m staying down here to watch for the rest of this bloodsucker’s jolly bunch to show up before we wipe them all out.” 

“This is my kill!” He pulled you back up, “You think I’m going to let you bench me while I’ve spent the past three weeks hunting this son of a bitch down!” 

“I’m not gonna bench you,” he chuckled again, “I’d love to see that machete in action.” His eyes traced down your legs. You rolled your eyes at him. “I also didn’t want you to go in there guns blazing, chopping this dude’s head off before the rest of them showed up.” 

“How many more are you expecting?” 

“You’ve been here for three weeks and you don’t know?” 

“I was thinking two more, based on the number of disappearances and the company he keeps. One’s probably the leggy brunette in the green dress Mr. Frenchy left with.” 

Dean gave you an approving nod. “Smart girl. That’s what I thought too. Sam thought four, including _Mr. Frenchy_.” 

“Sam?” you questioned. >

“My brother.” 

“Ah, I see.” The song drew to a close. Dean released you from your close embrace and bowed. You returned the gesture with a curtsey. “So, Dean, you promise to save me a head to chop off?” 

He slapped his hand over his heart, “Oh, how I love a woman who can talk dirty.” 

You were both caught up in fits of laughter by the bar when the largest man you’d ever seen entered the ballroom next to the stage holding the jazz band that was once again in full swing. You recognized him, having seen him hanging around with the head vamp a few times over your past few days of recon. He was dressed in all black, with a menacing look on his face clearly seen by the lack of mask covering his features.>

You were suddenly on full alert, your gut feeling kicking in, “That’s our third guy,” you motioned discretely towards the man, now walking in the direction Mr. Frenchy had previously gone. 

“Looks like it. Let’s go,” all traces of the previous laughter gone from Dean’s voice. You liked him already. >

You both started towards the back hallway the vamps had disappeared down. as you went, you both listened and looked in doors. All you found were empty, extravagant rooms and drunk couples trying to get a quickly in. You carried on down the hallway to a master staircase. 

“This leads up to his study,” you informed Dean. 

“How the hell did you know that?” 

“I studied the blueprints.” 

“Just like Sammy,” he scoffed and rolled his eyes. 

Dean took the lead up the stairs while you followed close behind. Reaching the top, you lead him towards the office door. You heard muffled voices on the other side. You were trying to listen when the door was suddenly pulled open. You grabbed Dean and pushed him up against the wall, connecting your lips with his. He jumped, startled at first, then brought his hands up into your hair. Your heart rate increased as your hands slid up around his neck. The kiss deepened as he flipped you around and pushed you against the wall, moving his hands down to your hips. 

“What the _hell_ do you two think you’re doing!” A man’s voice boomed, as the door closed behind him. 

You peeled yourself away from Dean’s lips, talking in a thickly intoxicated drawl to the large man before you, “I’m sooo s-sorry. I thought this was a private area I could get some qu-quality time with this dashing man before me.” You used your fingers to trace up and down Dean’s chest over his suit jacket. 

Dean beamed, first caught up in the moment, then catching on, “I’m sorry, sir, but how could you say no to a woman as beautiful as this,” he slurred, motioning to your body with his arms. 

“You can’t be here,” the vamp sneered, “Return to the party or leave!” 

“But we-we just want to have some fuuuun. We won’t tell if you – *fake* hiccup – won’t,” you walked towards him, leaving Dean behind you. You put your hand on the large man’s arm and wrapped around him, pretending to coyly feel him up with sultry intentions. The vamp reveled in that. Dean tried his best to look outraged; it was very convincing. 

“I have some ideas for fun,” his voice turned dark, staring straight at Dean while you were busy behind him. 

“(Y/N)! Now!” Dean called out. 

You ripped the machete out from the garter beneath your dress. In one swift movement and all the force your upper body could muster, you swung through the bloodsucker’s neck. A thump declared the decapitation a success as the vamp’s head rolled on the floor. You looked up at Dean who was staring back at you with some kind of awestruck look on his face. 

“That was awesome,” he said, exasperated. 

Suddenly there was a scream behind the office door. 

*******************************

“That was still one of the hottest things I have ever seen,” Dean chuckled, pulling you from your own thoughts once again. “First, you were just some hot girl in a tight black dress, but seeing that machete slightly sticking out underneath, damn... you took my breath away.” You were still in his embrace in your kitchen.

You laughed with him. He pulled his hand up from your waist and wrapped it into you hair, pulling you in to a soft, tender kiss.

“I couldn’t let you have the first kill of the night,” you joked when your lips parted.

“Crazy to think that was almost five years ago,” Dean was now lost in his own thoughts. He kissed you on the cheek before heading back out to the garage to work on his baby.

You picked up the dish you were so meticulously cleaning before your flashback to dry it. You let the dish drop and shatter against the floor. You were suddenly aware of the tears rolling down your face. All you could think about was the love of your life that you had met that night those five years back…

Sam.


	2. Chapter 2

_You ripped the machete out from the garter beneath your dress. In one swift movement and all the force your upper body could muster, you swung through the bloodsucker’s neck. A thump declared the decapitation a success as the vamp’s head rolled on the floor. You looked up at Dean who was staring back at you with some kind of awestruck look on his face._

_“That was awesome,” he said, exasperated._

_Suddenly there was a scream behind the office door._

You and Dean exchanged a look and nodded in agreement before kicking in the door, weapons at the ready. The leggy brunette was neck deep in a masked party guest sitting in a chair across from the big maple desk the was the offices centerpiece. Her head shot up, teeth bared and ready to fight. You heard a door down the hallway you just came from open and footsteps hurriedly running away.

“Dean! Get her! I’m going after the other one!” You yelled as you ran out the door.

You sprinted down the hallway, thankful for the high adrenaline levels not making you notice the foot pain you would be having due to heels. Running in those was bad enough, but add a floor length ball gown to the mix, you weren’t in your natural element, except for the machete you had gripped tight in your hand. You still managed to catch up to the son of a bitch. He turned around and saw you in pursuit, leading you deeper and deeper down the maze of hallways. He had the same creepy smile on his face that made you stomach churn the first time you saw him

He turned a corner. When you caught up, he had vanished. You began checking rooms. Door after door. Nothing. 

_How big is this fucking place?_

One of the last doors in the hallway was locked. You backed up, and after two kicks, managed to get it open. 

Light from the hallway poured in and gave view to a man in a tuxedo bound to a metal chair with rope and gagged with duct tape. He was huge, even sitting (strapped) down, with the broadest shoulders you had ever seen. He had long brown hair that fell to ear level and eyes that shone from the light casting in from the doorway. You faltered for a second as your heart skipped a beat before you set into action.

“I’m gonna get you out of here,” you said as you used your machete to start cutting the rope tying down his right hand. He started shaking and screaming under the gag. You stopped to remove his gag before a sharp pain connected to the side of your head and you were sent flying across the floor. You made it to your knees before you were struck in the head again. The pain was excruciating. The man on the chair screamed under his gag once more. A hand gripped you hair and pulled you to your feet. It was Mr. Frenchy.

“And who might you be, _ma chere?_ ” he cooed. 

“I’m the _chere_ that’s here to kill you,” you smiled through the pain. You’d hoped you cut the rope enough that the man could get free and escape. And you hoped to buy enough time that Dean would find his way to you before you were vamp chow.

The vamp let out a crude, dark chuckle, “Oh, I don’t see that happening, but I’d love to see you try. But, alas, I’m in a bit of a time crunch here.” His hand slid around your neck and pressed you against the wall. Your oxygen supply was running low. The edges of your vision were going black as you tried to fight against his strength. You vaguely heard your machete clang against the ground. The last thing you coherently saw was the vamps teeth coming out to play.

Suddenly you were released from his grasp and gasping for air. You were keeled over on the ground, coughing and trying to catch your breath, when Mr. Frenchy’s head hit the floor and rolled towards you.

“Are you okay!?” The man from the chair rushed to your side, puting a warm hand on the small of your back. You looked up into his eyes. They were scared but you could see a kindness to them. _Why the hell am I thinking about this guys eyes in the middle of a hunt?_

“You must be Sam,” you wheezed out as he lifted you to your feet. When you were standing, he just stared at you, half confused, half in awe of the woman in front of him.

“Yeah, how did you-”

“Look out!” You pushed Sam with all your force before grabbing your machete and chopping the head off the oncoming vamp behind him. The look on Sam’s face was more of a reward than the thud on the ground of its head.

“Wow, uh, thanks, you…”

“You save my life, I save yours.”

“Guess were even then,” Sam smiled.

You both stood there catching your breath.

“So how did you…” Sam started when he was breathing a normal level.

“I met Dean downstairs. Kind of assumed you were the Sam trailing Mr. Frenchy over there,” you used your thumb to motion to his head on the marble floor. “You were right, by the way, four vamps, not three. Did not expect that last fucker.” You were still trying to catch your breath.

Sam laughed. You smiled at him. _Holy shit, is he handsome…_

“How’s your head,” Sam moved towards you, putting a hand on your shoulder as he inspected the egg swelling on your skull with his other hand. You felt a shock of electricity with his touch. His breath caught in his chest.

“I’ve had worse,” you tried to cut through the tension in the air.

As if on cue, Dean ran into the room, “Sammy! (Y/N)!” He looked relieved when he saw both of you, then confused at your close proximity. 

“We got ‘em,” Sam said, taking a step away from you, “(Y/N) here saved my life.”

“After you saved mine.” You rolled your eyes and replaced the spot where his hand was with your own, trying to subdue the pain that was tearing through your head.

“We should scrap these fuckers’ bodies and high tail it out of here before someone spots us,” Dean stated. You and Sam agreed.

When you tried take a step forward, you began staggering. You went light headed and started to fall. Sam was right there to catch you.

“Hey, (Y/N), look at me!” His eyes searched yours. Everything was blurry.

“Sammy, is she okay?!”

“She took two heavy blows to the head.”

“Alright get her out of here, I’ll take care of this.”

You tried to focus but barely could. “(Y/N), can you walk?” You shook your head. Sam scooped you up with ease.

“Take Baby,” Dean tossed keys to his brother.

“Wait,” you managed, “My car. Valet ticket #42. Please take care of her.”

Dean nodded curtly, “I’ll be back soon. You’re in good hands with my baby bro, (Y/N).”

_Baby bro! He was easily three inches bigger in each direction than Dean. Wow…_

You were still safely in Sam arms as he carried you down through the mansion. “Let me know if you need anything, (Y/N). I’ll have you back soon.”

“Is she okay?” the valet asked as you waited for the car.

“Too much to drink,” Sam said to the man. You laughed softly against his chest, reveling in his warmth and trying not to focus on the headache that was slowly moving through your whole body.

***

You woke up on a double bed in a room with a dull light. You sat up quickly, then immediately regretted it when all the pain came back. You fell back down to the pillow and closed your eyes, covering your face with the crook of your elbow.

“(Y/N)?” You felt the bed give a bit and opened your eyes to see Sam sitting on the edge next to you. He had the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, the top few buttons undone, and bow tie still around his neck untied. The sight made you go slightly dizzy, even after the headache slightly subdued.

“Here, take this,” he handed you four pills and a glass of water. You gladly accepted as he helped you sit up.

“Thank you,” you groaned. You were still in your dress but thankfully the heels had been taken off.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled, “Here’s a shirt of mine and a pair of shorts if you want to change out of that dress. Not that you don’t look lovely in it.”

You laughed, “No, please, anything to get out of this thing.”

“Bathrooms over there. Do you need help getting there?”

You swung your legs over the side of the bed and attempted to stand. “So far so good.”

“Okay, just holler if you need me.”

You took account of your injuries in the safety of the bathroom once removing your dress. Other than your head, you were pretty much in one piece, apart from a few scratches here and there and some blood splatter found on your dress. Somehow your hair and make up still looked good. _Thank god…_ Wow… were you really that conceited?

You shook it off put on Sam’s shirt. It cocooned you in the smell of him. You hung the dress over the shower curtain before returning back to the main room.

“How you feeling?” 

“You’re really asking me that?” Sam chuckled, you shrugged. “I’m just fine. How are you?”

“Kinda feels like a killer hangover, but I’m good.”

Sam laughed again. “You’ve definitely received a major concussion. Nothing that rest, pills, and fluids can’t fix.”

“Can those fluids include whiskey?”

“No.” 

You rolled your eyes, “So.”

“So.”

“Fancy meeting you at the same vamp party in the middle of Louisiana,” you winked at him. You felt so comfortable but slightly nervous at the same time. 

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. “Dean and I caught wind of the disappearances as we were finishing up a job a few counties over. Thought it was worth stopping by. Didn’t take us long to peg the giant masquerade party going down as the action hot spot.”

You laughed into the water you were sipping on, “I’m impressed. That took me the better part of three weeks to figure out.”

“Yeah, well, we had some help,” Sam said thoughtfully. You gave him a quizzical look. “Long story,” he said. You shrugged it off.

You were sitting next to him on the bed at this point, sitting pretzel style wrapped up in his shirt.

“I have to ask, how does a girl like you get into this life?”

“I could probably ask you the same thing,” you said with a soft smile before looking at your folded hands in your lap. “Honestly, probably the same way as most other hunters. I lost the people I loved most to the evils of the world. I didn’t understand it at the time it happened, but I learned quickly after. I don’t want anyone else to have to experience that kind of pain I had to go through.”

Sam was silent. You looked up and saw the same pain reflected in his eyes, but there was a softness there too. 

“That’s why Dean and I are here too,” he smiled without happiness. He told his tragic story of a mother he never got to meet and proper childhood he never got to have. It seemed as though Dean was the only thing he had. It made you tear up.

“Oh, (Y/N), I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you in to his chest.

“No, no, it’s okay. I just miss my brothers,” you pulled back and wiped your hands under your eyes after a few deep breathes. Sam rubbed your back, being polite and not asking the stupid question of _‘what happened?’_ in case you didn’t want to answer. But you did want to answer. You’d never told anyone the story of how you became the hunter you were today, but he had opened up to you and you felt safe with him.

“I was seventeen. My brothers were twenty-one and nineteen, and both were home from college for winter break. Our dad had died a few years earlier from cancer and our mom had this new boyfriend she was introducing to us for the first time before the holidays. He came over, we had dinner, he seemed nice enough. My biggest fear was going to be that he was some gold digger; my parents were extremely wealthy. I was cleaning up when things in the house got eerily quiet. Like something just felt off. I went around the house and couldn’t find my younger brother or mom,” you had tears rolling down your cheek at this point. Sam was listening intently and wiping them from your face every so often. His hand was now tangled in yours. “I found them in the study. Blood drained. No saving them. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the biggest knife I could find. Started looking for my other brother before I even thought to find a phone to call 911. Of course I know now that wouldn’t have been any help. I found the bloodsucker mid-meal on my brother in his bathroom. He had a knife in his chest from my brother’s attempts to kill him. It was completely by chance that I cut his head off enough to slow him down. My brother managed to finish the job. Ever since that day we started our new life, left our old one behind...” 

“Where is he now?” Sam said, already knowing the answer.

“A werewolf got him during a hunt a few years ago,” tears coated your face but you were no longer crying. You looked up and saw a slight glassiness in Sam’s eyes. His hand was now gripped tightly around yours.

“I’m so, so sorry, (Y/N). I know he’d be proud of you tonight. They all would be.” He smiled at you sincerely.

“Thank you, Sam,” you whispered, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling yourself closer into him. He wrapped his arms around you and rubbed your back as you slowly drifted back off to sleep.

*******************************

You were sitting on the floor of the kitchen, back pressed against the counter and your face cradled in your hands. Broken bits of the plate were scattered around you. Dean came rushing through the door.

“(Y/N)! I heard something -”

You looked up at him with tear filled eyes. He rushed down to kneel in front of you on the floor, careful to brush the plate shards out of the way.

“Sweetheart, shhh, what’s wrong?” He put a hand on your cheek and wiped away the tears. You cried harder and curled back up into a ball. Dean moved around next to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, lowering his head to your level.  
“Shhhh…” He tried to soothe you, rubbing your back.

You tried to catch your breath in between sobs and raised your head to look at him. You took a deep breath in. “I miss him...” You dropped your eyes from his and looked straight forward. "I miss him so fucking much.”

Dean leaned his head back against the counter and ran a hand into his hair as tears pricked up in his eyes. “I do, too, (Y/N), I do, too.”


	3. Chapter 3

You woke up slowly, from a deep sleep. You’d been dreaming about the family vacation you had taken up to the lake house the summer before your dad got diagnosed. It was the last real family vacation you had, and one of your fondest memories.

You were peaceful and warm. Other than the throbbing in your head, it had been the most restful sleep you’d had in a while. You slowly opened your eyes to an unfamiliar room. Soft light poured in from the window, dulled by the curtains that were drawn for privacy. The second thing you registered was the man you currently had your arm wrapped around. 

_Sam._

It felt so natural, it took you a second to process that this was out of the ordinary. He was still in his dress shirt with the top buttons undone, although the tie had been removed. You were both on top of the covers still. You must have fallen asleep on him and he didn’t have the heart to wake you up and disturb you. Your heart swelled at the thought. You peaked up at him: his face was relaxed, lips parted, his chest slowly rising and falling, matching the soft breaths you heard escape his mouth. His face looked a lot younger than it had last night.

_Last night._ The memories flooded back. It was a successful hunt, apart from your head getting bashed around a few times, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. You shuddered to think about what would have happened if the Winchester’s hadn’t have been there… 

As content as you were in your current position, your bladder said otherwise. You gently rolled away from Sam. Your head was sent in to a whirlwind when you stood up, but you managed to keep balance as you got to your feet. 

Dean was spread-eagle on the double bed next to yours. Facedown into a pillow, limbs hanging off every side of the bed. He was still in his full tux. You couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle.

“(Y/N)?” Sam said softly. You turned to see him rubbing his eyes before staring through the dull light in your direction.

“Morning,” you smiled.

“Morning,” he returned a tired smile, “What time is it?”

“Early. I’m just gonna use the bathroom and take some more pain killers. I’ll be right back.”

You found the pills and chased it down with a glass of water from the bathroom sink. For good measure you used the small bottle of mouthwash that was in there too before returning to the bedroom.

Sam had stripped out of his clothes and gotten under the covers. You happily rejoined, partially due to your need for more sleep and partially because of your new bunkmate.

You slid under the covers and made your way over to Sam’s warm body, putting your arm back over his broad chest. You noticed a tattoo on his left pec and noted to check it out in the morning. Without speaking or opening his eyes, he lifted his arm to wrap around you. You fell asleep instantly.

***

“Rise and shine, lovebirds!”

You jumped out of bed on full alert and ready to attack. Dean roared with laughter.

“Whoa now, easy killer.”

You relaxed and began to laugh, feeling your cheeks begin to flush. Sam woke up casually, clearly used to his brother’s antics.

“Morning, jerk.”

“Morning, bitch. How you feeling, (Y/N)?”

“Not too bad, actually, kinda like I got hit by a train, but that’s just an average Saturday morning. Other than that, just peachy.” Both brother’s laughed. “How’d you make out last night?”

“Without a trace,” Dean said, clearly impressed with himself, “Nice ride, by the way. Where the hell did you get a ’68 Barracuda in that condition?”

He tossed your keys back at you. “Bought it two years ago and fixed her up.”

“Awesome,” he looked pretty impressed with you now, “How much did that cost ya?”.

“Too much, but it was worth it,” Dean nodded understandingly, Sam looked at you quizzically. “Trust fund,” you explained, “I got left a lot of money after…” 

Sam nodded, knowing what “after” referred to. He was still in the bed, but sitting up so you could see his bare torso. And man was it a sight to see. Your mouth ran a little dry. You wanted to thank him for opening up last night, but that was definitely not a conversation you wanted to have in front of Dean. You excused yourself to the bathroom to change into your clothes that Dean had graciously brought in from your car. You’d never been so happy to get back into jeans and your worn leather jacket. You hopped in the shower first for good measure.

Sam took over the bathroom once you were done, smiling as you crossed paths and asking again if you were okay.

“Yes, Sam, I’m fine thanks to you. Thank you for taking care of me last night,” you smiled ridiculously as he closed the door behind him, still half naked.

You looked up at Dean grinning like a fool.

“What?” Your smile vanished.

“So, (Y/N), about last night…” _Oh crap, I kissed Dean._ “Don’t get me wrong, you’re a hot young thing and all, but I’m not looking for anything too serious right now.” He winked at you. You let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding and burst out with laughter.

“Oh, thank god.” He joined you in laughing.

“No, but seriously, (Y/N), that was pretty smart thinking. You clearly know what you’re doing.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” you rolled your eyes at him, “Clearly you two do too.”

He laughed, “Yeah, we’ve been at this for a while. So what’s on for you now?”

“Not too sure actually. I might head back to my place.”

“You have a house?” Dean asked incredulously.

“Yeah,” you shrugged, but you knew that wasn’t the norm for most hunters, “I have a trust fund to spend, after all, so may as well have a place to go back to.”

“Fair enough,” Dean said. Sam emerged from the bathroom.

“How about you guys?” You continued you conversation with Dean, while trying to discreetly eyeball Sam’s half-naked, towel-clad form in your peripheral vision.

“We’re headed to see our friend Bobby, another hunter. He basically raised us,” Dean explained.

Your heart skipped a beat. “Bobby Singer?”

Both Winchester’s stopped what they were doing and looked up at you. You took that as your answer. “He taught me how to hunt.”

*******************************

There you sat surrounded by the shattered plate. You and Dean hadn’t moved in fifteen minutes apart from you resting your head on his shoulder. The silence consumed you, both lost in thought.

“(Y/N).” Dean said. You raised your head from its resting spot to look at him. “It’s not either of our faults. You know it’s was his choice and what he wanted. If we had tried to do anything to stop it, he never would’ve forgiven us.”

You let out a long breath, “I know.” You’d had that thought many times before. He wouldn’t have forgiven you. “I just feel so guilty. Why couldn’t it have been me?”

“You know why. It was his responsibility, not yours.”

More tears pricked up in your eyes. “There are so many things we could have done.”

“I know. But he would be so angry if we had. You know this is what he wanted.”

“This!” You motioned between the two of you. 

“(Y/N)…”

“How could we do this to him.” You were bawling now. Dean wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest.

“Sweetheart, shhhh, breathe… What Sam wanted was for us to move on and live a normal life, however we could manage to do that.” He paused, gathering his thoughts to put together a sentence he had said to you once before. “I think he would be happy that we managed to find that comfort in each other, that the two people who loved him most in this world were happy with each other. (Y/N), I know you and I will never have what you and he did, and I’m not asking to, but I do care about you so, so much. You’ve kept me sane these past months without him, and I can never put how grateful I am for that into words. And I like to think that’s what I’ve done for you.” Tears were now swimming in his eyes as well.

You were thoughtful for a moment. It was what he had done for you. You did find comfort in Dean. Those first few weeks without Sam, you didn’t eat, barely slept, and were a downright mess. Dean managed to pull you out of your slump and make you laugh for the first time in what felt like years, even though he was fighting through the same pain. Together over time, you managed to find solace even thought Sam was gone. It took so much time to build that up, but in this one instant everything came tumbling down.

You didn’t love Dean. Not like the way you loved Sam. Sam was your rock. Your soul mate. Your for better or for worse... Your husband.

You began bawling harder as Dean held you and tried to calm you down once more.


End file.
